29.9.03
yeah, i sorted it out. i sorted it out good. highlights of the day: 1.) me askin betsy 2.) maciej askin mo.
dialogue btwn me and an old lady who spotted me pickin up some roses tday mornin, def a good omen:
ol: wow, must be a very special girl for you to be thinking about her this early in the morning
me: yes, yes she is
ol: oh, is it her birthday?
me: no, not really, im askin her to homecoming tday
ol: oh, thats wonderful
me: mhm, im pretty nervous though
ol: haha, theres nothing to be nervous about, theres no way she could say no to a nice, handsome guy like yourself
me: y thank you
ol: i have 2 children myself and i just love kids
me: thats wonderful
ol: well i hope you have a great day
me: thank you soo much. you too
i finally found the song and i just had to put it on here. not in time for the cd swap but def in time for homecoming:
Zorak - Down to the River
I'm going down to the river
Honey, that's where I'll be
Gonna hold my nose and jump right in
'Cause you don't care 'bout me
Take me to the river
Where the water's dark and deep
I'll be down where the fishes sleep
'Cause you don't care 'bout me
You don't care 'bout me
You don't care 'bout me
Going to the river take a dip
'Cause, baby, you just don't give a flip
I changed my mind 'bout the river
I ain'ta gonna jump right in
Gonna go out tonight where the lights are bright
And find a new girlfriend
And we'll go down to the river
And you know I'll jump for joy
When she looks at me with those great big eyes and says,
"Zorak, you're my boy."
site of the day, courtesy of gray
'i hope your mind stops spinning but in the mean time, embrace the spinning, cause you'll miss it when everything becomes clear and easy'
thanks babe. yes, i miss it already.
dialogue btwn me and an old lady who spotted me pickin up some roses tday mornin, def a good omen:
ol: wow, must be a very special girl for you to be thinking about her this early in the morning
me: yes, yes she is
ol: oh, is it her birthday?
me: no, not really, im askin her to homecoming tday
ol: oh, thats wonderful
me: mhm, im pretty nervous though
ol: haha, theres nothing to be nervous about, theres no way she could say no to a nice, handsome guy like yourself
me: y thank you
ol: i have 2 children myself and i just love kids
me: thats wonderful
ol: well i hope you have a great day
me: thank you soo much. you too
i finally found the song and i just had to put it on here. not in time for the cd swap but def in time for homecoming:
Zorak - Down to the River
I'm going down to the river
Honey, that's where I'll be
Gonna hold my nose and jump right in
'Cause you don't care 'bout me
Take me to the river
Where the water's dark and deep
I'll be down where the fishes sleep
'Cause you don't care 'bout me
You don't care 'bout me
You don't care 'bout me
Going to the river take a dip
'Cause, baby, you just don't give a flip
I changed my mind 'bout the river
I ain'ta gonna jump right in
Gonna go out tonight where the lights are bright
And find a new girlfriend
And we'll go down to the river
And you know I'll jump for joy
When she looks at me with those great big eyes and says,
"Zorak, you're my boy."
site of the day, courtesy of gray
'i hope your mind stops spinning but in the mean time, embrace the spinning, cause you'll miss it when everything becomes clear and easy'
thanks babe. yes, i miss it already.
26.9.03
yeah, the other day as i was drivin to school i saw a black man and a white man pushin a car off of the road. this touched me as something wonderful, the conquering of racism, the unifying of a people. should this have seemed so absurd to me? this is the only dissapointment. this sight should have seemed normal to me. but no, it was different. ok, im not making any sense here...
yeah, theres lotsa tension in the air over where a person's goin to college and all. i just dont understand it. mk, just about everyone coming from fenfen will go to an excellent school. and w/e ya go, yoor gonna meet new ppl, learn new and interesting things, try new things, have wonderful memories sarahsarahsarah. does it really matter where ya get in or not? anywhere ya go, if ya work hard, ur gonna succeed in life. as edison once said, 'success is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.' i was readin this article the other day about all the stress the college application process is causing nowadays. they were talkin bout how they did this study watchin a buncha ppl who applied to good schools. obviously, some got in and some didnt. but then they watched the success rate of both groups and in the end both groups did well. ((siby is cool) <--- courtesy of betsy...) like for example, one guy applied to some selective film school and didnt get in. then he went to some other college but still did incredibly later on in life. they called this the stephen spielberg effect after that guy. ya see, just havin the balls to apply to some of these reach schools says sumthin about yoo. so basically, what im tryna say in 300 words is that ya shouldnt worry so much bout where ur gonna get in or not. the 4 years ya spend in college are gonna be some of the best of your life. just do what ya can. as carlin says, 'dont sweat the petty stuff, and dont pet the sweaty stuff.' one more year... yeah, college is gonna rock. better buckle up.
i totally spaced out in finnell's tday. all ya gotta do is continually say 'yeah' 'oh' or 'ic' (or '+c', when will you ever learn meera?) and hell leave ya alone. he wasnt really makin any sense tday and right about the time when damian had finished his chalk mural of judith gettin raped by the king, i was gone. i was thinkin. each and every single one of us has something that we earnestly desire. something we long for and try our best to achieve. for some it may be winning state in a sport, askin a special girl out, or gettin an a in a class. but sometimes, no matter what we do, w/e we're tryna get just evades us. just like tantalus. this goal can be even more intimidating if it is something intanglible. we try and try but just cant cut it. i sorta feel like this right now. for the past couple years ive been tryna achieve something. ive been doin all i can. will i ever attain this goal? i sure hope so. maybe in a year or so. imma try and stay optimisitc...
i went out to the porch at like 12 to listen through the whole cd i had just made for crap songs or glitches and the like. and i just looked up at the stars. omg. incredible. my breath was taken away. it was a clear sky w/ a million stars. awwwesome...
qot[other]d: 'melissa, can i get torture from you?'
'janda, would you marry one of those girls? those models? do you think they are hot?'
'yeah'
'larson, would you marry one of those models? tell me honest'
'yeah'
'you guys are sick.'
'you know they had some miss america thing recently? somebody won. the most cute girl in the usa. if she is the most cute girl, i do not know. you may think there is somebody else more cute maybe.'
(i point in front of me at katie)
'yes, i know, she is cute.' wow. what a great class.
yeah, theres lotsa tension in the air over where a person's goin to college and all. i just dont understand it. mk, just about everyone coming from fenfen will go to an excellent school. and w/e ya go, yoor gonna meet new ppl, learn new and interesting things, try new things, have wonderful memories sarahsarahsarah. does it really matter where ya get in or not? anywhere ya go, if ya work hard, ur gonna succeed in life. as edison once said, 'success is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.' i was readin this article the other day about all the stress the college application process is causing nowadays. they were talkin bout how they did this study watchin a buncha ppl who applied to good schools. obviously, some got in and some didnt. but then they watched the success rate of both groups and in the end both groups did well. ((siby is cool) <--- courtesy of betsy...) like for example, one guy applied to some selective film school and didnt get in. then he went to some other college but still did incredibly later on in life. they called this the stephen spielberg effect after that guy. ya see, just havin the balls to apply to some of these reach schools says sumthin about yoo. so basically, what im tryna say in 300 words is that ya shouldnt worry so much bout where ur gonna get in or not. the 4 years ya spend in college are gonna be some of the best of your life. just do what ya can. as carlin says, 'dont sweat the petty stuff, and dont pet the sweaty stuff.' one more year... yeah, college is gonna rock. better buckle up.
i totally spaced out in finnell's tday. all ya gotta do is continually say 'yeah' 'oh' or 'ic' (or '+c', when will you ever learn meera?) and hell leave ya alone. he wasnt really makin any sense tday and right about the time when damian had finished his chalk mural of judith gettin raped by the king, i was gone. i was thinkin. each and every single one of us has something that we earnestly desire. something we long for and try our best to achieve. for some it may be winning state in a sport, askin a special girl out, or gettin an a in a class. but sometimes, no matter what we do, w/e we're tryna get just evades us. just like tantalus. this goal can be even more intimidating if it is something intanglible. we try and try but just cant cut it. i sorta feel like this right now. for the past couple years ive been tryna achieve something. ive been doin all i can. will i ever attain this goal? i sure hope so. maybe in a year or so. imma try and stay optimisitc...
i went out to the porch at like 12 to listen through the whole cd i had just made for crap songs or glitches and the like. and i just looked up at the stars. omg. incredible. my breath was taken away. it was a clear sky w/ a million stars. awwwesome...
qot[other]d: 'melissa, can i get torture from you?'
'janda, would you marry one of those girls? those models? do you think they are hot?'
'yeah'
'larson, would you marry one of those models? tell me honest'
'yeah'
'you guys are sick.'
'you know they had some miss america thing recently? somebody won. the most cute girl in the usa. if she is the most cute girl, i do not know. you may think there is somebody else more cute maybe.'
(i point in front of me at katie)
'yes, i know, she is cute.' wow. what a great class.
22.9.03
yeah. so here's the thing. basically, i told somebody how i felt about em. thing things got screwy. really screwy. i dont recommend it. ive been gettin a whole lotta it doesnt matter this, doesnt matter that, in 10 yrs this, later on that, sarahsarahsarah. (as an aside, somebody told me that i never put up on here what 'sarahsarahsarah' meant. see, in my psych class, my ta was from korea and had a huge accent. like 10x ep's. and sometimes shed just say 'sarahsarahsarah' and we wouldnt know what she was talkin bout. turns out she was sayin etc etc etc. now a couple of us still say it. inside joke.) so now things are a bit better than b4 but id still hafta say its weird. def worse than b4. no regrets? bah. yeah, my cousin was tellin me the other day bout he wanted to do sumthin like this and at first i was encouragin him to and he was waitin for the right time. i told him the other day, 'hell no. dont do it. itll just screw things up. trust me. been there, done that.' christ, what a hassle.
on a lighter note, the song of the day is: 'goin down to the river' it is one of my favorite songs of allll time. definately on the top 5 list bc it applies to my life too. like right now for example. ive been lookin all over for it to get it into the cd swap but its been evadin me. i will find yoo yet...
plans for tnight? watch high fidelity hosted by jack black. what a damn good movie.
qotd: 'i am going to apologize before i say this. but it is truth. women are very emotional. if you are going to marry, lock your gun and throw away the key. im not kidding. if a woman gets the gun she will shoot you. and if she shoots you, you will die. then she will say, 'oh my god!' but you are already dead.'
insight of the day, my conscience has shit for brains...
on a lighter note, the song of the day is: 'goin down to the river' it is one of my favorite songs of allll time. definately on the top 5 list bc it applies to my life too. like right now for example. ive been lookin all over for it to get it into the cd swap but its been evadin me. i will find yoo yet...
plans for tnight? watch high fidelity hosted by jack black. what a damn good movie.
qotd: 'i am going to apologize before i say this. but it is truth. women are very emotional. if you are going to marry, lock your gun and throw away the key. im not kidding. if a woman gets the gun she will shoot you. and if she shoots you, you will die. then she will say, 'oh my god!' but you are already dead.'
insight of the day, my conscience has shit for brains...
21.9.03
ouch. nuff said.
yeah. whole lot happened this week. not alot that i really want to get into though at this point. meh, ill just relate some stories of the week.
fr joe. seriously, best class right now. he was talkin bout kama sutra and how in india it's a man's moral and spiritual obligation to please his woman. 'the men go 1-2-3 boom, then they just want to go to sleep! is your wife a tool? would you just go and hit your wife then say im sorry then hit her again?' then he said that some guys have come to him and asked him what they should do to please their wives. 'why are you asking me, go ask your wife!' i just thought this was pathetically humorous. like, just imagine some guy askin a priest for advice on sex. jeez. i just about burst out laughing. i think i was the only person in the class that found this extremely amusing. haha, at the end of class b4 i walked out the door, fr joe called me over. hes been askin me lotsa qs bout my family life since we're dealing w/ an indian religion now and i was dreadin that hed ask me sumthin bout my parents' sex life or sumthin. (scuse me while i retch.) but he asks me, 'siby, do you know how to please the women?' and im like 'yes fr joe, of course, of course.'
on friday, same class, bonk had her spanish book on her desk at the beginning of class. right after prayers, fr joe walks back to her desk and is like 'ohh you want to study spanish in my class? stephanie, put emily's name down for $2.' i knew she hadnt been studyin it or anything and prolly woulda put it on the floor when we started takin notes, so bein the nice guy i am, i stick up for her and go 'but fr joe, it was just on her desk. she wasnt even studyin it. she was gonna put it on the floor when we started takin notes.' fr joe thinks for a minute and goes 'hmmm. stephanie, put siby's name down for $1. anybody else want to help emily?' i could really care less bout the dollar so i go, 'but fr joe, ya know how you're always telling us to love one another? love god and love our neighbor? i was just trying to love emily.' i had a feelin hed make me pay more money but hes like 'ok. stephanie, put siby's name down for only 50 cents because he was trying to love emily.' then outta nowhere, marco goes up and puts 50 cents in the lil container on ekpo's desk and says that he wants to pay for me. oooook. strange he wanted to pay for me as opposed to emily. just plain weird.
then in physics, we were workin on centripital acceleration. there was a problem w/ a ferris wheel but mrs v wanted to skip it sayin that ferris wheels go to slow. then im like 'but mrs v, i personally think they're very romantic.' she gets a big kick outta this and decides to do the ferris wheel problem and put me in it. in all her problems she does on the board she personalizes it and has usually larson or kinnare racin a car off a cliff or sumthin and we gotta solve where she has to put the lake of alligators so they DO fall in it. and she has multi colored markers and gets all into it. the class is gettin hard as hell but its so worth it. so she puts me up at the top of the wheel and asks who she should put up there w/ me. immediately altier goes 'larson!' this gets a big laugh. then mrs v's lookin round the room for some distinct feature of a girl to draw so everybodyll know exactly who shes drawin. she mutters that none of the girls have anything distinctive then just decides to give the girl on the ferris wheel red hair. everybody goes quiet. then stan's like 'siby, you dog, gettin it on w/ the teacher.' ya see, mrs v is the only person who has red hair in the class...
yeah. thats bout it. oh, i did get to go to the bday party tnight which was a lot more fun than i expected. i had to leave at 10 though. not too good but its def a step up from 9.30.
shout out to otto for 'the plan'...
yeah. whole lot happened this week. not alot that i really want to get into though at this point. meh, ill just relate some stories of the week.
fr joe. seriously, best class right now. he was talkin bout kama sutra and how in india it's a man's moral and spiritual obligation to please his woman. 'the men go 1-2-3 boom, then they just want to go to sleep! is your wife a tool? would you just go and hit your wife then say im sorry then hit her again?' then he said that some guys have come to him and asked him what they should do to please their wives. 'why are you asking me, go ask your wife!' i just thought this was pathetically humorous. like, just imagine some guy askin a priest for advice on sex. jeez. i just about burst out laughing. i think i was the only person in the class that found this extremely amusing. haha, at the end of class b4 i walked out the door, fr joe called me over. hes been askin me lotsa qs bout my family life since we're dealing w/ an indian religion now and i was dreadin that hed ask me sumthin bout my parents' sex life or sumthin. (scuse me while i retch.) but he asks me, 'siby, do you know how to please the women?' and im like 'yes fr joe, of course, of course.'
on friday, same class, bonk had her spanish book on her desk at the beginning of class. right after prayers, fr joe walks back to her desk and is like 'ohh you want to study spanish in my class? stephanie, put emily's name down for $2.' i knew she hadnt been studyin it or anything and prolly woulda put it on the floor when we started takin notes, so bein the nice guy i am, i stick up for her and go 'but fr joe, it was just on her desk. she wasnt even studyin it. she was gonna put it on the floor when we started takin notes.' fr joe thinks for a minute and goes 'hmmm. stephanie, put siby's name down for $1. anybody else want to help emily?' i could really care less bout the dollar so i go, 'but fr joe, ya know how you're always telling us to love one another? love god and love our neighbor? i was just trying to love emily.' i had a feelin hed make me pay more money but hes like 'ok. stephanie, put siby's name down for only 50 cents because he was trying to love emily.' then outta nowhere, marco goes up and puts 50 cents in the lil container on ekpo's desk and says that he wants to pay for me. oooook. strange he wanted to pay for me as opposed to emily. just plain weird.
then in physics, we were workin on centripital acceleration. there was a problem w/ a ferris wheel but mrs v wanted to skip it sayin that ferris wheels go to slow. then im like 'but mrs v, i personally think they're very romantic.' she gets a big kick outta this and decides to do the ferris wheel problem and put me in it. in all her problems she does on the board she personalizes it and has usually larson or kinnare racin a car off a cliff or sumthin and we gotta solve where she has to put the lake of alligators so they DO fall in it. and she has multi colored markers and gets all into it. the class is gettin hard as hell but its so worth it. so she puts me up at the top of the wheel and asks who she should put up there w/ me. immediately altier goes 'larson!' this gets a big laugh. then mrs v's lookin round the room for some distinct feature of a girl to draw so everybodyll know exactly who shes drawin. she mutters that none of the girls have anything distinctive then just decides to give the girl on the ferris wheel red hair. everybody goes quiet. then stan's like 'siby, you dog, gettin it on w/ the teacher.' ya see, mrs v is the only person who has red hair in the class...
yeah. thats bout it. oh, i did get to go to the bday party tnight which was a lot more fun than i expected. i had to leave at 10 though. not too good but its def a step up from 9.30.
shout out to otto for 'the plan'...
16.9.03
well then. school is startin to be a pain. specially spanish. as i expected, its raping me. hard. im gettin a d in the class. yeah, not a good thing. big test on thursday. not lookin forward to it. at present im debatin on whether to apply to be a kairos leader. a buncha ppl who are gonna go in october are sayin i really should. i dunno, see, id only have 1 month to prep and im tryna get all my college apps over and done w/ by november. if i just opted to go in december thad work out bc also id have 2 months to get ready for it and i know a buncha ppl who are goin in december. but then again, since more ppl will have gone, the competitionll prolly be fiercer to get leader. also, i wanna see who all is applyin for leader for this one. yeah, thatll decide it, who else applies. we'll see what happens.
at present, theology's my fav class w/ english comin as a close second. some quote from theo:
'if you are ugly, i will tell you are an ugly bitch'
'yeah, guess what time they said i had to be home? 9.30!'
'you're kidding me'
'no. 9.30 sharp or they wouldnt lemme go out after that'
'oh my god, i have to talk to your parents'
'yeah, i prayed your prayer and my parents didnt get pissed!'
'thats awesome, praise god!'
'therefore, all you girls used to be bad boys...'
'how many of you have heard of kama sutra?'
(15 hands go up)
'my god, you are all corrupt'
yeah, so soccer's now 3rd in the state; kudos to them. hopin to go to the oak park game tmrw but i just gotta work it out w/ the rents somehow. also gotta work out a way to go to melissa's bday party on saturday. its at some roller rink and a buncha ppl told me they were goin. ('lombard roller rink on 22nd st. 7/7:30 bring $10') hopin for the best. my parents better not gimme that 'not until you finish your college apps' crap. ive started stayin more and more in my basement. eating, workin, sleepin. after a while, my parentsll just assume im there and i can get out through a window or sumthin. but thats only if worst comes to worst. but then again, if right now's not 'worst comes to worst' what is? could it get worse? i blv it could. i still have a shot at goin to sr prom and maybe even homecoming/turnabout (who w/ is a whole nother problem in itself. maybe even bigger than the problem of parentals...). i never told em how much jr prom actually cost me. if they knew theyda never let me gone. theyda said sumthin like 'ya dont have to spend that much money for a silly dance.' but the thing was it wasnt just a silly dance. it was soo much more than that. i had tons of fun even though i didnt even get to go to katie's afterwards. i asked em for like 20 bucks and the rest came from my pocket. wait a sec, why the hell am i talkin bout jr prom?? i started this paragraph talkin bout guys soccer... yeah, as it sorta shows, not much is goin on in my life right now. well, scratch that, a whole lot is happenin but not exactly the stuff id wanna put all over this thing.
qotd: 'kissing is like real estate. the most important thing is location, location, location.'
some other quotes:
'so if she likes you it doesnt matter. and if she doesnt...it doesnt matter'
'wow, this just has to be the defenition of stupid in the real world'
'the white vanilla sheet cake w/ the red sprinkles is zero! its for animals! racoons! and stoned 13 yr olds! and 9 yr olds w/ disabilities! we're adults! we dont eat that crap! and what's w/ those party candles taht come w/ the cake nowadays? who's the joke on, the bday boy or the 11 guests who are gonna get tuberculosis from this guy hawkin up a lung to blow these things out?'
at present, theology's my fav class w/ english comin as a close second. some quote from theo:
'if you are ugly, i will tell you are an ugly bitch'
'yeah, guess what time they said i had to be home? 9.30!'
'you're kidding me'
'no. 9.30 sharp or they wouldnt lemme go out after that'
'oh my god, i have to talk to your parents'
'yeah, i prayed your prayer and my parents didnt get pissed!'
'thats awesome, praise god!'
'therefore, all you girls used to be bad boys...'
'how many of you have heard of kama sutra?'
(15 hands go up)
'my god, you are all corrupt'
yeah, so soccer's now 3rd in the state; kudos to them. hopin to go to the oak park game tmrw but i just gotta work it out w/ the rents somehow. also gotta work out a way to go to melissa's bday party on saturday. its at some roller rink and a buncha ppl told me they were goin. ('lombard roller rink on 22nd st. 7/7:30 bring $10') hopin for the best. my parents better not gimme that 'not until you finish your college apps' crap. ive started stayin more and more in my basement. eating, workin, sleepin. after a while, my parentsll just assume im there and i can get out through a window or sumthin. but thats only if worst comes to worst. but then again, if right now's not 'worst comes to worst' what is? could it get worse? i blv it could. i still have a shot at goin to sr prom and maybe even homecoming/turnabout (who w/ is a whole nother problem in itself. maybe even bigger than the problem of parentals...). i never told em how much jr prom actually cost me. if they knew theyda never let me gone. theyda said sumthin like 'ya dont have to spend that much money for a silly dance.' but the thing was it wasnt just a silly dance. it was soo much more than that. i had tons of fun even though i didnt even get to go to katie's afterwards. i asked em for like 20 bucks and the rest came from my pocket. wait a sec, why the hell am i talkin bout jr prom?? i started this paragraph talkin bout guys soccer... yeah, as it sorta shows, not much is goin on in my life right now. well, scratch that, a whole lot is happenin but not exactly the stuff id wanna put all over this thing.
qotd: 'kissing is like real estate. the most important thing is location, location, location.'
some other quotes:
'so if she likes you it doesnt matter. and if she doesnt...it doesnt matter'
'wow, this just has to be the defenition of stupid in the real world'
'the white vanilla sheet cake w/ the red sprinkles is zero! its for animals! racoons! and stoned 13 yr olds! and 9 yr olds w/ disabilities! we're adults! we dont eat that crap! and what's w/ those party candles taht come w/ the cake nowadays? who's the joke on, the bday boy or the 11 guests who are gonna get tuberculosis from this guy hawkin up a lung to blow these things out?'
14.9.03
so there was a gathering at katie's tday(technically yesterday) bc she messed up her ankle at dave's. no, i didnt get to go bc as usual the parents were tryna cut down on my fun. no way theyd lemme go out TWO nights in a row. god forbid, i might start havin fun my sr year. but then to balance it out, tday i told somebody sumthin ive been meanin to tell em for 3 yrs now. its been on my mind for a long time and all through kairos i was thinkin bout it w/ everybody sayin 'live the 4th' and 'no regrets' and the like. 'siby, you should have told me sooner.' yeah, i shoulda but i didnt. but now that i did, it seriously feels like this huge burden is off my chest. hard to describe, but either way, its a damn good feelin im feelin right now.
qotd: 'love is a journey, not a destination.'
this is from another blog, but i think it has its place:
"The discovery of music on the street is a wonderful thing, and you can't help but try and flesh out the background details. The CD-find is a lot more common, and easier to work with, than the previous discarded music formats were - vinyl would shatter on contact with the ground, sometimes making a complete label impossible to find, so you'd be trying to work out what the record you'd found in pieces, scattered along the street, would actually be - "It's clearly on RKO, so it's got to be Grease, right?"; tapes would be unwound, mysteriously hanging from telegraph wires or blowing along the street - if you found the casing, it might have been a self-made compilation all along and the chances of making sense of the biro'ed mnemonics would be slim - "it says 'HM/album' - Happy Mondays? Heavy metal?"; you couldn't wind the tape back in and find out. But with CDs, although they're not as indestructable as either we led to believe or Spandau Ballet's Gold, then you've got a chance. Even with a mix CD, you'd be able to pop it into your hi-fi and find out what had been lost, or discarded, or forgotten. (In your hi-fi, mind. Pop it in your computer and chances are you'd have got a malicious copy-protected beast).
Actually, you know, this is something that would be an interesting project - you have bookcrossing, so why not random CD swapping? It'd be like file sharing, without the need for spyware on your machine. Make a mix CD, pop it down on a cafe table, or on a bus; maybe tuck it behind the ear of a statue in the park. Write "Try this CD" on it in pen. You might introduce people to something new. You might find some other CD on the way home that gives you something new. You'd certainly piss off the RIAA and the BPI by doing it, although would copyright law be able to touch you for making a copy of your own, properly-purchased music and then leaving it behind somewhere?
It occurs to us that a while back there was someone - a fanzine editor? maybe a monk? - who undertook a task that seemed madness itself, albeit the sort of madness that is powerful and sexy, which smokes your fags and leads you into bad behaviour. They invited people to send them a mix tape and a stamped addressed envelope. They then mixed up the tapes, and stuck them into random envelopes, and posted them back. It seemed a wonderful idea, and we never found out how well it worked, but if it could be attempted in the days of xerox and dubbing double deck tape machines, in the web-and-CD-R age it should be a breeze. Anyone want to volunteer to be dead letter box?"
yeah, so if ya wanna make a cd of a buncha songs ya love and give it to me sometime id greatly appreciate it. then id give ya somebody else's cd basically and if ya like the songs, kudos. if not, yoo swap cds again. i already got a couple ppl in it already. got high expectations...
qotd: 'love is a journey, not a destination.'
this is from another blog, but i think it has its place:
"The discovery of music on the street is a wonderful thing, and you can't help but try and flesh out the background details. The CD-find is a lot more common, and easier to work with, than the previous discarded music formats were - vinyl would shatter on contact with the ground, sometimes making a complete label impossible to find, so you'd be trying to work out what the record you'd found in pieces, scattered along the street, would actually be - "It's clearly on RKO, so it's got to be Grease, right?"; tapes would be unwound, mysteriously hanging from telegraph wires or blowing along the street - if you found the casing, it might have been a self-made compilation all along and the chances of making sense of the biro'ed mnemonics would be slim - "it says 'HM/album' - Happy Mondays? Heavy metal?"; you couldn't wind the tape back in and find out. But with CDs, although they're not as indestructable as either we led to believe or Spandau Ballet's Gold, then you've got a chance. Even with a mix CD, you'd be able to pop it into your hi-fi and find out what had been lost, or discarded, or forgotten. (In your hi-fi, mind. Pop it in your computer and chances are you'd have got a malicious copy-protected beast).
Actually, you know, this is something that would be an interesting project - you have bookcrossing, so why not random CD swapping? It'd be like file sharing, without the need for spyware on your machine. Make a mix CD, pop it down on a cafe table, or on a bus; maybe tuck it behind the ear of a statue in the park. Write "Try this CD" on it in pen. You might introduce people to something new. You might find some other CD on the way home that gives you something new. You'd certainly piss off the RIAA and the BPI by doing it, although would copyright law be able to touch you for making a copy of your own, properly-purchased music and then leaving it behind somewhere?
It occurs to us that a while back there was someone - a fanzine editor? maybe a monk? - who undertook a task that seemed madness itself, albeit the sort of madness that is powerful and sexy, which smokes your fags and leads you into bad behaviour. They invited people to send them a mix tape and a stamped addressed envelope. They then mixed up the tapes, and stuck them into random envelopes, and posted them back. It seemed a wonderful idea, and we never found out how well it worked, but if it could be attempted in the days of xerox and dubbing double deck tape machines, in the web-and-CD-R age it should be a breeze. Anyone want to volunteer to be dead letter box?"
yeah, so if ya wanna make a cd of a buncha songs ya love and give it to me sometime id greatly appreciate it. then id give ya somebody else's cd basically and if ya like the songs, kudos. if not, yoo swap cds again. i already got a couple ppl in it already. got high expectations...
12.9.03
kairos was awesome. no im not tellin ya what happened. i sorta knew what was gonna happen but i was ok w/ it and it didnt ruin anything for me really. but for yoo, i think yood be bummed if ya knew what was gonna happen. dont worry, they wont totally mess w/ your mind. i think the whole thing was alot more hyped up than what really happened. yeah, i think i liked it as much as i did just bc it was a chance to hang out w/ ppl from school, obviously something ive been lacking in for the past 3 yrs. just one tip: go on kairos early. and yes, the rumor is true, bro jo ('he doesnt even deserve the title fr') is goin on every kairos from now on, sad to say. oh well, make the best of what ya got.
yeah so tday was a friday. friday after kairos. live the 4th right? so i heard theres a hockey game tday and theres also this massive party at dave montegudo's house. so i ask my dad tday if i could go right when i got in the car. my mom, luckily, was in downtown for a meetin and wouldnt be home till late bc shes usually the one who doesnt lemme do anything. i wouldnt say shes stricter but just on askin to go out, my dad's the one to ask. so he said no and after a long argument he said i could go if i finished one whole college essay b4 i got home. and i was gonna reach home at 4.30 and the hockey game was to start at 5.40. i called up grubes who was gonna gimme a ride and he said he was only gonna come by my house round 6 or sumthin. so i actually finished an essay by 6 and gruber came and my dad right b4 i leave was like 'ok, ya gotta be home by 9.30.' WTF? 9.30! i just turned 17 for cryin out loud! i tried to argue but he wouldnt budge so i said ok. we got to the game late and there was only a couple mins left but it was 5-0 us, so it was prolly a pretty borin game if the other team sucked that much. but after the game we all were gonna go to dave's but then some ppl wanted to go to hooters. it was only a couple so it was all good. then when we got to hooters there were other ppl there and others to come. there were about 20, 25 ppl there total. so it took a helluva long time to wait for our tables, our food, to eat it all, sarahsarahsarah. yeah, while they were eatin, somebody, either loeffler or cortese told the waitress it was my bday and she took me to the front and i was tellin her that my bday was last week but shes like, 'thats ok, dont worry bout it.' so they told everybody in the rest it was my bday and made me ride around on a broom while they sang. it was embarrassing enough but i think ppl got pics... since grubes was gonna come back late from dave's i had arranged w/ betsy to get a ride home earlier bc she has a cross country meet tmrw and she lives relatively close to me also. hwvr, when i found out how long it would take us to get outta hooters, i had to call betsy and tell her that she would hafta pick me up from hooters instead of dave's bc i wouldnt even be able to have time to go to dave's. so she didnt know how to come and i gave the phone to somebody else who gave her crappy directions and she got lost. then it was about 9 when we finally got enough money from everybody to pay our waitress. so then i assumed id just wait outside of hooters for betsy but then grubes and some other ppl said theyd wait for me till she came. i called betsy again and found out there was no way shed get to hooters then get me back home by 9.30 so i decided to get a ride from one of the ppl at hooters b4 they went to dave's. so then i had to tell betsy that i wasnt goin w/ her anymore and i felt pretty bad that she had gotten wrong directions and driven as far as she had just to find out it was for nothin. yeah, felt really bad bout it. then got home late bc kohout got lost goin home bc of gettin bad directions. so the bad sorta took the fun outta the good and all in all it sorta just balanced out to the same as an ordinary friday night sittin at home doin nothin...
'be with me oh lord, when i am in trouble, be with me oh lord, my god...'
word of the day: trickish (courtesy of father joe ekpo)
song of the moment: jimmy buffet - escape
goodbye johnny cash, yoo will not be soon forgotten
yeah so tday was a friday. friday after kairos. live the 4th right? so i heard theres a hockey game tday and theres also this massive party at dave montegudo's house. so i ask my dad tday if i could go right when i got in the car. my mom, luckily, was in downtown for a meetin and wouldnt be home till late bc shes usually the one who doesnt lemme do anything. i wouldnt say shes stricter but just on askin to go out, my dad's the one to ask. so he said no and after a long argument he said i could go if i finished one whole college essay b4 i got home. and i was gonna reach home at 4.30 and the hockey game was to start at 5.40. i called up grubes who was gonna gimme a ride and he said he was only gonna come by my house round 6 or sumthin. so i actually finished an essay by 6 and gruber came and my dad right b4 i leave was like 'ok, ya gotta be home by 9.30.' WTF? 9.30! i just turned 17 for cryin out loud! i tried to argue but he wouldnt budge so i said ok. we got to the game late and there was only a couple mins left but it was 5-0 us, so it was prolly a pretty borin game if the other team sucked that much. but after the game we all were gonna go to dave's but then some ppl wanted to go to hooters. it was only a couple so it was all good. then when we got to hooters there were other ppl there and others to come. there were about 20, 25 ppl there total. so it took a helluva long time to wait for our tables, our food, to eat it all, sarahsarahsarah. yeah, while they were eatin, somebody, either loeffler or cortese told the waitress it was my bday and she took me to the front and i was tellin her that my bday was last week but shes like, 'thats ok, dont worry bout it.' so they told everybody in the rest it was my bday and made me ride around on a broom while they sang. it was embarrassing enough but i think ppl got pics... since grubes was gonna come back late from dave's i had arranged w/ betsy to get a ride home earlier bc she has a cross country meet tmrw and she lives relatively close to me also. hwvr, when i found out how long it would take us to get outta hooters, i had to call betsy and tell her that she would hafta pick me up from hooters instead of dave's bc i wouldnt even be able to have time to go to dave's. so she didnt know how to come and i gave the phone to somebody else who gave her crappy directions and she got lost. then it was about 9 when we finally got enough money from everybody to pay our waitress. so then i assumed id just wait outside of hooters for betsy but then grubes and some other ppl said theyd wait for me till she came. i called betsy again and found out there was no way shed get to hooters then get me back home by 9.30 so i decided to get a ride from one of the ppl at hooters b4 they went to dave's. so then i had to tell betsy that i wasnt goin w/ her anymore and i felt pretty bad that she had gotten wrong directions and driven as far as she had just to find out it was for nothin. yeah, felt really bad bout it. then got home late bc kohout got lost goin home bc of gettin bad directions. so the bad sorta took the fun outta the good and all in all it sorta just balanced out to the same as an ordinary friday night sittin at home doin nothin...
'be with me oh lord, when i am in trouble, be with me oh lord, my god...'
word of the day: trickish (courtesy of father joe ekpo)
song of the moment: jimmy buffet - escape
goodbye johnny cash, yoo will not be soon forgotten
11.9.03
In honor of September 11th, 2001.
The Train Ride of Life
Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows, we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.
But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day, at a certain hour, we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pics of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering - waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
"When we reach the station, that will be it!" we cry. “When I'm 18." "When I buy a new 450SL Mercedes Benz." "When I put the last kid through college." "When I have paid off the mortgage!" "When I get a promotion." "When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after."
Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us. "Relish the moment" is a good motto...It isn't the burdens of today that drive [people] mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow, twin thieves who rob us of today.
So, stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough.
The Train Ride of Life
Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows, we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.
But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day, at a certain hour, we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pics of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering - waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
"When we reach the station, that will be it!" we cry. “When I'm 18." "When I buy a new 450SL Mercedes Benz." "When I put the last kid through college." "When I have paid off the mortgage!" "When I get a promotion." "When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after."
Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us. "Relish the moment" is a good motto...It isn't the burdens of today that drive [people] mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow, twin thieves who rob us of today.
So, stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough.
8.9.03
yeah, so it was my bday on saturday. awesome. i had soo much fun. first i went to the choir workshop which was rather blah bc the whole intent was for the kids to sing louder and i dont think we accomplished that and they guy in charge wanted to teach them a new song which sounded ok but i think he was shyin away from what he really had to do bc he knew he couldnt. so it was supposed to go from 10-4. so i told my parents to pick me up at 12.30 and take me to the hospital by one bc i had to 'work.' so i got there and just waited for like 15 mins... after a lil while at the hospital, me, liz, maciej, altier, and kohout all went to hooters. they all got pissed that i didnt eat much. i told em i was on a diet and just got a salad. maciej was proddin us to get the 50 pc wings but then at the end we couldnt even finish the 20. then maciej dropped a hint to our waitress that it was my bday and she took me to the front, told everybody in the rest it was my bday and all and made me 'dance' while they all sang around me. quite embarrassing. see, i dunno what it is but i just HATE the happy bday song. its so damn annoying! and ppl allways wanna sing it. who knows. then after hooters, we all went to yorktown mall and went to all these stores where they were tryna find somethin to get me for my bday present. they all really wanted to get me this black dog collar w/ spikes but i told em it wouldnt run too well w/ the parents. their intent was to buy me sumthin so useless id never be able to use it. we went to the disney store but they didnt have the buzz lightyear suit in my size. in the end they just got me a hat from lids and i told em id wear it all the time just to piss em off. then we just sat in the mall and just talked bout the past 3 yrs. yeah, so much has happened in high school that i hope i never forget but somewhere in the back of my mind i just know itll all slowly slip from my memory. hence the blog. yes, tday was my fav bday ever. thanks to all of yoo. yoo guys are the best.
yeah, ive always wanted to be a shrink when i grew up. well, not always. at first i wanted to be a comedian but i dont think id work out since im not really as funny as i thought i was. all my relatives are tryin their best to discourage me from bein a psychiatrist. they think ill go insane like all my crazy patients. some ppl say i wont really help them cuz im prolly even more psycho than they are hwvr i blv that my level of insanity will enable me to empathize with my patients to a certain degree. the other day sumthin hit me as weird. as yall know i spend a healthy portion of my free time chattin online. its like an out for me. for some ppl its sex, others pot, others studyin. for me its chattin. for some reason ppl feel comfortable tellin me thier problems and i sorta sometimes feel responsible to help em out. its weird cuz i found out the other day that i actually take notes on these ppl i help and i like refer back to them when i talk to them again. it sorta shocked me. im already in the motions to becomin a psych. now lets just see me get into college....
some quotes, mostly from saturday:
'i drove around the hospital like 5 times'
'think you guys can handle the 50?'
'bend over, grab your kneees, and shake. dont stop till we stop singing'
'you guys are awesome' 'we are arent we?'
'"siby..." "no dad, ya gotta use the code names! im buzz!"'
'i dont pay to see soccer, i pay to see altier' 'no, you will pay to see pollitz and altier'
'hey taras' 'who are yoo?'
'can ya hear me now liz!?'
'ya know we should go out like this more often'
'we won because you were there, siby'
'if you could be any kind of tree, what kind of tree would you be?' 'a boner. a boner tree.'
'do you mean new as in hot?'
'hmm, theres a heart, maybe shes tryna tell me sumthin' 'maybe she tryna tell ya what the total is'
'marco, yoo almost got one right!'
'wtf is a kairos?'
'siby, you better not turn fag on me'
yeah, ive always wanted to be a shrink when i grew up. well, not always. at first i wanted to be a comedian but i dont think id work out since im not really as funny as i thought i was. all my relatives are tryin their best to discourage me from bein a psychiatrist. they think ill go insane like all my crazy patients. some ppl say i wont really help them cuz im prolly even more psycho than they are hwvr i blv that my level of insanity will enable me to empathize with my patients to a certain degree. the other day sumthin hit me as weird. as yall know i spend a healthy portion of my free time chattin online. its like an out for me. for some ppl its sex, others pot, others studyin. for me its chattin. for some reason ppl feel comfortable tellin me thier problems and i sorta sometimes feel responsible to help em out. its weird cuz i found out the other day that i actually take notes on these ppl i help and i like refer back to them when i talk to them again. it sorta shocked me. im already in the motions to becomin a psych. now lets just see me get into college....
some quotes, mostly from saturday:
'i drove around the hospital like 5 times'
'think you guys can handle the 50?'
'bend over, grab your kneees, and shake. dont stop till we stop singing'
'you guys are awesome' 'we are arent we?'
'"siby..." "no dad, ya gotta use the code names! im buzz!"'
'i dont pay to see soccer, i pay to see altier' 'no, you will pay to see pollitz and altier'
'hey taras' 'who are yoo?'
'can ya hear me now liz!?'
'ya know we should go out like this more often'
'we won because you were there, siby'
'if you could be any kind of tree, what kind of tree would you be?' 'a boner. a boner tree.'
'do you mean new as in hot?'
'hmm, theres a heart, maybe shes tryna tell me sumthin' 'maybe she tryna tell ya what the total is'
'marco, yoo almost got one right!'
'wtf is a kairos?'
'siby, you better not turn fag on me'
3.9.03
felt like crap tday so i came home and took my temp. turns out i had a 101 fever. just my luck. i hit the sack for a couple hrs and now i feel a bit better. yeah, so im sorta bummed though. for some of the colleges im applyin to they want some SAT II tests. my parents want me to take em asap so i scheduled em for october 11. problem. theres this thing at wash u (where my sis goes) called celebrations weekend there from the 9th-11th and if they like ya and ur a sr, theyll send ya a card invitin yoo too this thing. ALSO they pay the expenses for your flight. basically its wash u tryna impress a buncha prospective freshmen. my sis went 2 yrs ago and another of my friends went last yr and they both said it was awesome. its just like party party party for 72 hrs straight. obviously something im not gettin enough of. nevertheless, i still dont wanna go to wash u persay bc my sister's there and i sorta have a feelin that if we're in the same college shed...how to put it...cramp on my style should i say?
as most of ya know my bday's comin up on saturday. many ppls been askin me the details but honestly i have no clue. all i know is that i get dropped off at good samaratin hospital (in downers grove) at 1. then somebody's gonna pick me up or sumthin then they's gonna bring me back at 4.30. beyond that, no idea. im not sure how many ppld actually show up, prolly like 3 but what the heck, i could care less, just as long as im outta the house. when i get more info bout what's goin on ill put it on here or on my profile or sumthin. rest assured, yooll know whats happenin in good time. im pretty psyched really. not exactly the fact that its my bday, just the fact that im sneakin out. this is a new leaf for me. only my 2nd or 3rd time at this sorta thing. of course if somethin went wrong and my parents found out i could be screwed for the rest of sr yr but then again if i dont go amnt i just royally screwin myself?
mk, most of ya know how i dont drive yet bc my parents just wont lemme pick up my license. i have the blue slip and everything but they just wont lemme. ive had ppl tell me that ya dont hafta have a parent there to get it but still, even if i did get it how would i benefit me? they wouldnt gimme a car and if the insurance company found out first that i had my licensce our premium would shoot up, specially since imma guy. but as always, i was sittin there in the link after school bc i dropped 11th (still havin fun in there tess?) and my parenst cant come any earlier and wont permit me to get rides from any 'underaged' drivers. while sittin there i hear a whooole lotta stuff from these underclassmen. this is the type of pointless banter from these lowlifes:
stupid kid 1: yeah, all the girls in our class did more push-ups than him.
stupid kid 2: yeah he only did like 3
stupid kid 3: yoo only did 3??
weak kid: well i only had 1 minute!
as some of yoo know fight club is one of my most favoritest movies of all time. using fighting as a release. wow. interestingly enough, this stuff actually works. yes, hard to blv, but i did try it. while i was in india i worked out every day and i actually fought w/ my cousin. there were bloody noses, lips, bruises, and bashings but overall it was quite enjoyable. then my grandparents found out about it and in india, strangely enough, they actually have a name for this kinda stuff; they call it gusthi and its really looked down on. oh well. i dunno if this is just bc im a guy, or if its bc im an insane guy, but w/e it was it was extremely fun and i highly recommend yoo all try it sometime.
"money doesnt buy happiness. that phrase should end w/ 'just kidding'. im not a good sport, ill admit it, i dont enjoy watchin other people succeed. that's why all my best friends are in the 7th grade. you can do it too, its great for your esteem. no matter what they come home with 'ohh i got an A on my paper!' 'ohh, i have a car.'"
word of the day: bootylicious (hey, its even in the dictionary now)
quote of the day(thanks to mr gray): 'If she can't say no, she obviously wants it.'
song of the day: outkast - hey ya
as most of ya know my bday's comin up on saturday. many ppls been askin me the details but honestly i have no clue. all i know is that i get dropped off at good samaratin hospital (in downers grove) at 1. then somebody's gonna pick me up or sumthin then they's gonna bring me back at 4.30. beyond that, no idea. im not sure how many ppld actually show up, prolly like 3 but what the heck, i could care less, just as long as im outta the house. when i get more info bout what's goin on ill put it on here or on my profile or sumthin. rest assured, yooll know whats happenin in good time. im pretty psyched really. not exactly the fact that its my bday, just the fact that im sneakin out. this is a new leaf for me. only my 2nd or 3rd time at this sorta thing. of course if somethin went wrong and my parents found out i could be screwed for the rest of sr yr but then again if i dont go amnt i just royally screwin myself?
mk, most of ya know how i dont drive yet bc my parents just wont lemme pick up my license. i have the blue slip and everything but they just wont lemme. ive had ppl tell me that ya dont hafta have a parent there to get it but still, even if i did get it how would i benefit me? they wouldnt gimme a car and if the insurance company found out first that i had my licensce our premium would shoot up, specially since imma guy. but as always, i was sittin there in the link after school bc i dropped 11th (still havin fun in there tess?) and my parenst cant come any earlier and wont permit me to get rides from any 'underaged' drivers. while sittin there i hear a whooole lotta stuff from these underclassmen. this is the type of pointless banter from these lowlifes:
stupid kid 1: yeah, all the girls in our class did more push-ups than him.
stupid kid 2: yeah he only did like 3
stupid kid 3: yoo only did 3??
weak kid: well i only had 1 minute!
as some of yoo know fight club is one of my most favoritest movies of all time. using fighting as a release. wow. interestingly enough, this stuff actually works. yes, hard to blv, but i did try it. while i was in india i worked out every day and i actually fought w/ my cousin. there were bloody noses, lips, bruises, and bashings but overall it was quite enjoyable. then my grandparents found out about it and in india, strangely enough, they actually have a name for this kinda stuff; they call it gusthi and its really looked down on. oh well. i dunno if this is just bc im a guy, or if its bc im an insane guy, but w/e it was it was extremely fun and i highly recommend yoo all try it sometime.
"money doesnt buy happiness. that phrase should end w/ 'just kidding'. im not a good sport, ill admit it, i dont enjoy watchin other people succeed. that's why all my best friends are in the 7th grade. you can do it too, its great for your esteem. no matter what they come home with 'ohh i got an A on my paper!' 'ohh, i have a car.'"
word of the day: bootylicious (hey, its even in the dictionary now)
quote of the day(thanks to mr gray): 'If she can't say no, she obviously wants it.'
song of the day: outkast - hey ya
