28.10.03
the other day when i was w/ maciej (sibyduty) he was tellin me how somebody was doubtin the kairos joy~! just like wonderin if something bad was gonna happen bc everything was goin just perfect. DO NOT DO THIS! I REPEAT, DO NOT! we both started talkin bout it on the way to borders. then sumthin bad happened. due to the # of ppl that read this blog im not really at liberty to say but still. we was just talkin about it and bam. i repeat, do not doubt the joy. ('just keep the joy and good thingsll happen; start doubtin the joy and gillete'll make a radiohead mix cd' haha, i think a grand total of 4 ppl got that. inside joke.) it may seem that i do not really have this kairos joy inside me but i do. it gets burried at times deep down beneath all the scum and rigmarole of life but then something happens and it just pops out again. for example tday, things plumb werent goin my way in just about all aspects of life. and then somebody walks by, smiles, and goes 'my favorite...' i doubt they knew how much it meant to me, but still. then i got to pour orange slice all over chris madden's pants. see, its the small things in life like these that enable us to continue trekking, and yet realize that 'there is no station.'
i got it set up on my comp that it cycles through all the pics ive ever taken w/ my digital cam and all the pics ive scanned b4 that. (course all the pg-13 pics are left outta the mix...) yesterday it just happend to be the pic w/ perry hidin behind her journal. she didnt want her pic for who knows what reason but consented to a pic of a peek. so yeah, that was on the desktop and mi madre spots it whilst im doin the northwestern app and shes like 'who is that?' 'its liz perry mom. cmon, dont ya remember? i introduced ya to her when ya went to nhs.' she then asked me if liz was my gf which i found hillarious. i said no and my mom looked hard at me to see if i was fibbin. she said she didnt want any pictures of any of my girlfriends on the computer but i really didnt care. yeah, she also started wonderin when she saw the 'maciej's a damn pimp' pic on the desktop. 'are those all his girlfriends?' 'mhm mom, hes quite popular.' 'wow' whenever she sees a pic of a guy and girl tgether she always assumes their bf/gf. what her def of bf/gf is, i do not know though. as rarf so aptly put it, 'so if they saw your homecoming pictures, theyd disown you?' either way, i find this whole thing quite amusing.
so its sadd week this week or sumthin? or is it this month? the reading of the poems has got to go. for one their all end rhyme [yes, the first poem i wrote was w/ end rhyme but that was a while ago. w/ everybody makin poems dealin w/ college to woj rollin down the steps like a snowball (haha, think a couple more ppl got that one...) ive decided to write yet another poem. gonna have to do w/ a sand castle or sumthin to that effect. w/ one of those deeper meanings. ooooh.]and the person readin it always puts a lil beat into it. pisses me off so much. not like anybody else really cares or even pays attention. but like the ribbons i approve of but the poems. nuh-uh.
for the bitch of a northwestern app, i decided to make my catchphrase 'dont sweat the petty stuff' (courtesy of carlin). some other ppls' are 'its all gravy', 'joy~!' and i think there's a 'i hate you guys' too. if any of yall got any, lemme know and ill put it up here. yeah, that apps not too bad. that is, after ya get an idea for each of the q's. 'your shoes dont match your pants!' napes, yoo ur awesome...
qotd courtesy of farran: 'then this 300 pound came and wanted to sit in the seat next to me. and she sat down and half of her cheek was on my leg! and i felt like i was squashed against the wall of the train car! and my wife was just sitting there and laughing at me and if she was any closer i would have pinched her. but then i told this lady to move so i could get my leg out from under her cheek...this is the image that always comes to my mind when i think of these bonds. the lone pair of electrons is squashing the other bonds together...'
guess the movie...
dialogue of the day w/ side comments from the class in ()'s:
'my sister would kill me if she heard me say this because she lives on a ranch but i hate horses. they're so stupid. they fall in love w/ a dumber animal. the donkey. you know it as a jackass. then they make love to the jackass!'
('ive seen a person have sex w/ a horse, does that mean that we're all stupid?')
'then what do you get? you get a mule! its good for nothing! its what you get when you put a horse and a jackass together!'
('why is he telling us all this?')
'see, this is what i think of when i think of the C02 bond. its only a bond and a half but it has attributes of the single bond and the double bond...'
('wait, what just happened?')
yeah, i love chem class and although i dont understand what the hell is goin on in that class, (mckins, i hate yoo. read 'apoem' the other day and laughed my ass off...) farran does a good job of keepin it real.
song of the moment - throw your arms around me
dunno if yall know but i lost all my mp3's so if ya wanna send me a list of your favs or w/e ill be much obliged. ill get to know some of your music tastes. gimme w/e ya got. im hopin this works a bit better than that cd swap. and if you're just dyin to get somethin from me, i got my cd from the swap back so if ya wanna dandy, lemme know...
off-color, blue site of the day: A Review of Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs And Ham
+1000 zapatos for liz, but +1001 zapatos for jenna...
i got it set up on my comp that it cycles through all the pics ive ever taken w/ my digital cam and all the pics ive scanned b4 that. (course all the pg-13 pics are left outta the mix...) yesterday it just happend to be the pic w/ perry hidin behind her journal. she didnt want her pic for who knows what reason but consented to a pic of a peek. so yeah, that was on the desktop and mi madre spots it whilst im doin the northwestern app and shes like 'who is that?' 'its liz perry mom. cmon, dont ya remember? i introduced ya to her when ya went to nhs.' she then asked me if liz was my gf which i found hillarious. i said no and my mom looked hard at me to see if i was fibbin. she said she didnt want any pictures of any of my girlfriends on the computer but i really didnt care. yeah, she also started wonderin when she saw the 'maciej's a damn pimp' pic on the desktop. 'are those all his girlfriends?' 'mhm mom, hes quite popular.' 'wow' whenever she sees a pic of a guy and girl tgether she always assumes their bf/gf. what her def of bf/gf is, i do not know though. as rarf so aptly put it, 'so if they saw your homecoming pictures, theyd disown you?' either way, i find this whole thing quite amusing.
so its sadd week this week or sumthin? or is it this month? the reading of the poems has got to go. for one their all end rhyme [yes, the first poem i wrote was w/ end rhyme but that was a while ago. w/ everybody makin poems dealin w/ college to woj rollin down the steps like a snowball (haha, think a couple more ppl got that one...) ive decided to write yet another poem. gonna have to do w/ a sand castle or sumthin to that effect. w/ one of those deeper meanings. ooooh.]and the person readin it always puts a lil beat into it. pisses me off so much. not like anybody else really cares or even pays attention. but like the ribbons i approve of but the poems. nuh-uh.
for the bitch of a northwestern app, i decided to make my catchphrase 'dont sweat the petty stuff' (courtesy of carlin). some other ppls' are 'its all gravy', 'joy~!' and i think there's a 'i hate you guys' too. if any of yall got any, lemme know and ill put it up here. yeah, that apps not too bad. that is, after ya get an idea for each of the q's. 'your shoes dont match your pants!' napes, yoo ur awesome...
qotd courtesy of farran: 'then this 300 pound came and wanted to sit in the seat next to me. and she sat down and half of her cheek was on my leg! and i felt like i was squashed against the wall of the train car! and my wife was just sitting there and laughing at me and if she was any closer i would have pinched her. but then i told this lady to move so i could get my leg out from under her cheek...this is the image that always comes to my mind when i think of these bonds. the lone pair of electrons is squashing the other bonds together...'
guess the movie...
dialogue of the day w/ side comments from the class in ()'s:
'my sister would kill me if she heard me say this because she lives on a ranch but i hate horses. they're so stupid. they fall in love w/ a dumber animal. the donkey. you know it as a jackass. then they make love to the jackass!'
('ive seen a person have sex w/ a horse, does that mean that we're all stupid?')
'then what do you get? you get a mule! its good for nothing! its what you get when you put a horse and a jackass together!'
('why is he telling us all this?')
'see, this is what i think of when i think of the C02 bond. its only a bond and a half but it has attributes of the single bond and the double bond...'
('wait, what just happened?')
yeah, i love chem class and although i dont understand what the hell is goin on in that class, (mckins, i hate yoo. read 'apoem' the other day and laughed my ass off...) farran does a good job of keepin it real.
song of the moment - throw your arms around me
dunno if yall know but i lost all my mp3's so if ya wanna send me a list of your favs or w/e ill be much obliged. ill get to know some of your music tastes. gimme w/e ya got. im hopin this works a bit better than that cd swap. and if you're just dyin to get somethin from me, i got my cd from the swap back so if ya wanna dandy, lemme know...
off-color, blue site of the day: A Review of Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs And Ham
+1000 zapatos for liz, but +1001 zapatos for jenna...
22.10.03
xoxinnocentxox27: post on ur blog..u may be too "lazy" to do it..but some of us are addicted!
xoxinnocentxox27: feeeeeed the addiction, sibuel
ok then. i got a lotta q's bout me havin an arranged marriage and all so i guess ill try to attempt to explain this whole thing. yes, i do have an arraged marriage. but not in the sense of me and a girl being destined to marry each other for years and years and years. its just arranged in the sense of my parents finding a girl for me when i'm of age, which is around 26-27. ive seen it happen b4 actually. my parents are known in the indain spheres of being good matchmakers (sorta like the matchmaker in mulan, but here its a joint effort). parents tell my parents about their son or daughter that is 'ready' to get married and my parents sorta think of which two ppl would be good paired up tgether. for example, out of nowhere my mom or dadll just be like, 'oh ya know so and so? theyd be good w/ this other person...' then it goes from there. my parents call both families up and everybody comes over to my house for a big dinner. then after dinner, the guy and girl go and talk for an hr or 2 or 3, however long they want. then while they're talkin, all the parents talk someplace else. afterwards, let's say the guy's fam goes home. then the girl tells her parents and my parents bout what she thought of the guy. then after the girl's fam leaves, we call up the guy's fam and they tell us what they thought. if its all good and dandy, both guy and girl stay and say they're cool w/ each other and its all good. then in a lil while a marriage date is set and preparations start to be made. in one of these hookups for my second cousin, the wedding took place as early as a month after they met. and they're still tgether and still doin great, shes gonna have a baby in few months. i really think it strange how couples in america know each other for so long and so well and date for months to years and in india, in most cases, the guy and girl sometimes have no idea who the other person is. but still, the divorce rate is so much higher in america as opposed to india. strange. then i get alotta ppl askin me how ppl stay together like that in indian cultures if they didnt get married for love. i try to explain w/ movie the wedding planner (starring altier's fav actor matty mcconaughey). ya know how jlo's dad told her that he got married but it wasnt for love, then later that appreciate turned to like and the like turned to love. im thinkin thats somewhat how it is w/ indian marriages. both ppl learn that marriage isnt perfect, its give and take, compromises, workin around differences. i dont think i explained this too well...
so. we were told to think about our pressures the other day in dr b's. the first and only thing that popped into my mind was college and stuff. ive been tryna take it easy w/ all this but its just not workin. i mentioned how i went to the uic gppa info session. on the way back my dad asked me 'if ya get into columbia and uic gppa, where would you go?' i knew where this question was headin so i just didnt bother to answer him. then later on, he pulls out the cattle prod, 'you still havent answered my question' i told him i wanted to go to columbia w/e happens and then he got all pissed and said that if i got into a med program someplace i shouldnt pass up the opportunity. i told him that if i didnt get into med school after 4 yrs of college id prolly be bc i wasnt good enough for it and id be fine w/ that. then he went into talkin how bein a doctor is the best job bc you'll always have a job and be financially secure and i just told him that i didnt care at all. maybe im just over optimistic. like if i do end up becomin a college prof or sumthin id be totally cool w/ that. w/e happens, money aside, id do what i love most. maybe i might have a hard time makin ends meet but id at least be happy w/ what im doin. he just dont get it. yeah, pressure galore.
yeah, so maciej's been on 'siby duty' for a good portion of this week. on monday after school he took me to the soccer game. tuesday, after wastin 1.5 hrs at school we both went to de nico's w/ kief and elsey. then we went over to elseys then to yorktown then back to elseys then to maciej's then to sr night for girls' swimmin bc perry's been talkin bout it for a helluva long time now. then tday, after school and the show, maciej and i rolled over to ihop then borders then to the open house for nhs. tmrw we's gonna be rollin to the soccer game after school. imma try to do a double header on saturday w/ the soccer game and the hockey game. we'll see what happens bc my sisterll be home and my momll prolly want me to be around then but my sis said she has tons to study and that i should tell my mom that she said that shed be ok w/ me goin to the game. yeah. oh yeah, greatest point of yesterday: after comin back from yorktown, i walked into elsey's house and his sister was there watchin tv. i sat myself down next to her and just made myself at home. she just looked over at me w/ this look like no other on her face. she didnt say nothin but i could tell she was thinkin 'wtf are you doin in my house???' then i realized that she prolly didnt know who the hell i was and it was prolly just a tad bit weird for her to have some random indian kid walk into her house and just plop down right beside her. see, i didnt go in w/ elsey so she didnt make the connection. i explained who i was and then it was all good. but it was still super funny. ya prolly dont think so but seriously, ya had to be there...
qotd: "sodium doesn't just look at the chlorine and say 'hey, come and get my electron' mr siby."
word of the day...meh, words pertaining kohout: foan, diffuser, irks, malapropism, pimp (who knew?)
how can somebody be so stupid? yeah, w/e the case, bein dumb is a real turnoff, i dont care who we's talkin about...
i was actually finished w/ this post but i couldnt post it for some reason at school. this is just from a lil while ago... wow. i was at school for the open house tday and it ended at 9 and round 9.05 my uncle calls me and tells me that my mom got into a car accident and that my dad'd be pickin me up. my god. i had no idea if she was ok or what. i just watched everybody leave the school just w/ my mind spinning wonderin whether... wow. nothing like something like that to put your whole life into perspective. jesus christ. my dad came round 9.45 and when i got home the car was smashed on the side and my mom was cryin inside. thank god shes ok but still. woah.
xoxinnocentxox27: feeeeeed the addiction, sibuel
ok then. i got a lotta q's bout me havin an arranged marriage and all so i guess ill try to attempt to explain this whole thing. yes, i do have an arraged marriage. but not in the sense of me and a girl being destined to marry each other for years and years and years. its just arranged in the sense of my parents finding a girl for me when i'm of age, which is around 26-27. ive seen it happen b4 actually. my parents are known in the indain spheres of being good matchmakers (sorta like the matchmaker in mulan, but here its a joint effort). parents tell my parents about their son or daughter that is 'ready' to get married and my parents sorta think of which two ppl would be good paired up tgether. for example, out of nowhere my mom or dadll just be like, 'oh ya know so and so? theyd be good w/ this other person...' then it goes from there. my parents call both families up and everybody comes over to my house for a big dinner. then after dinner, the guy and girl go and talk for an hr or 2 or 3, however long they want. then while they're talkin, all the parents talk someplace else. afterwards, let's say the guy's fam goes home. then the girl tells her parents and my parents bout what she thought of the guy. then after the girl's fam leaves, we call up the guy's fam and they tell us what they thought. if its all good and dandy, both guy and girl stay and say they're cool w/ each other and its all good. then in a lil while a marriage date is set and preparations start to be made. in one of these hookups for my second cousin, the wedding took place as early as a month after they met. and they're still tgether and still doin great, shes gonna have a baby in few months. i really think it strange how couples in america know each other for so long and so well and date for months to years and in india, in most cases, the guy and girl sometimes have no idea who the other person is. but still, the divorce rate is so much higher in america as opposed to india. strange. then i get alotta ppl askin me how ppl stay together like that in indian cultures if they didnt get married for love. i try to explain w/ movie the wedding planner (starring altier's fav actor matty mcconaughey). ya know how jlo's dad told her that he got married but it wasnt for love, then later that appreciate turned to like and the like turned to love. im thinkin thats somewhat how it is w/ indian marriages. both ppl learn that marriage isnt perfect, its give and take, compromises, workin around differences. i dont think i explained this too well...
so. we were told to think about our pressures the other day in dr b's. the first and only thing that popped into my mind was college and stuff. ive been tryna take it easy w/ all this but its just not workin. i mentioned how i went to the uic gppa info session. on the way back my dad asked me 'if ya get into columbia and uic gppa, where would you go?' i knew where this question was headin so i just didnt bother to answer him. then later on, he pulls out the cattle prod, 'you still havent answered my question' i told him i wanted to go to columbia w/e happens and then he got all pissed and said that if i got into a med program someplace i shouldnt pass up the opportunity. i told him that if i didnt get into med school after 4 yrs of college id prolly be bc i wasnt good enough for it and id be fine w/ that. then he went into talkin how bein a doctor is the best job bc you'll always have a job and be financially secure and i just told him that i didnt care at all. maybe im just over optimistic. like if i do end up becomin a college prof or sumthin id be totally cool w/ that. w/e happens, money aside, id do what i love most. maybe i might have a hard time makin ends meet but id at least be happy w/ what im doin. he just dont get it. yeah, pressure galore.
yeah, so maciej's been on 'siby duty' for a good portion of this week. on monday after school he took me to the soccer game. tuesday, after wastin 1.5 hrs at school we both went to de nico's w/ kief and elsey. then we went over to elseys then to yorktown then back to elseys then to maciej's then to sr night for girls' swimmin bc perry's been talkin bout it for a helluva long time now. then tday, after school and the show, maciej and i rolled over to ihop then borders then to the open house for nhs. tmrw we's gonna be rollin to the soccer game after school. imma try to do a double header on saturday w/ the soccer game and the hockey game. we'll see what happens bc my sisterll be home and my momll prolly want me to be around then but my sis said she has tons to study and that i should tell my mom that she said that shed be ok w/ me goin to the game. yeah. oh yeah, greatest point of yesterday: after comin back from yorktown, i walked into elsey's house and his sister was there watchin tv. i sat myself down next to her and just made myself at home. she just looked over at me w/ this look like no other on her face. she didnt say nothin but i could tell she was thinkin 'wtf are you doin in my house???' then i realized that she prolly didnt know who the hell i was and it was prolly just a tad bit weird for her to have some random indian kid walk into her house and just plop down right beside her. see, i didnt go in w/ elsey so she didnt make the connection. i explained who i was and then it was all good. but it was still super funny. ya prolly dont think so but seriously, ya had to be there...
qotd: "sodium doesn't just look at the chlorine and say 'hey, come and get my electron' mr siby."
word of the day...meh, words pertaining kohout: foan, diffuser, irks, malapropism, pimp (who knew?)
how can somebody be so stupid? yeah, w/e the case, bein dumb is a real turnoff, i dont care who we's talkin about...
i was actually finished w/ this post but i couldnt post it for some reason at school. this is just from a lil while ago... wow. i was at school for the open house tday and it ended at 9 and round 9.05 my uncle calls me and tells me that my mom got into a car accident and that my dad'd be pickin me up. my god. i had no idea if she was ok or what. i just watched everybody leave the school just w/ my mind spinning wonderin whether... wow. nothing like something like that to put your whole life into perspective. jesus christ. my dad came round 9.45 and when i got home the car was smashed on the side and my mom was cryin inside. thank god shes ok but still. woah.
18.10.03
id like to make a plug for gray's site on here. i dunno how well yall know him but he was in the fenfen class of 03. great guy. hes one of the many people who have offered me a 'good time' if i let him know when im around w/e he is in college. maybe when i take those college visits/sleepovers. its gonna be awesome. i got srini at northwestern, perry at u of c, gray at u of i, jewell at nd (though i doubt my parentsll let me go there bc im not even applyin) and many many more. yeah, end of senior year is gonna rock.
tmrw i actually wanted to go to the amate house project thingy. ive never gone b4 and i was just curious as to what it was. but then i found out i couldnt bc im goin for this thing at uic tmrw mornin at 10! could they make it any earlier!? its like a talk bout the gppa program there. but it was one of those things that ya rsvp for so im thinkin its more important than the usual meetings. rule of thumb, if ya get a meetin and it doesnt say anything bout contactin them if ya wanna go, dont bother. its just a waste of your time. and also, i dont really understand what the point of all these college talks at school are about. yeah, i go for some of em, but mainly just to get outta class. seriously, i dont have any questions to ask em. and any questions i did have i could prolly find on their site. it was sorta funny bc i went to the wash u one just bc and i started fillin out a card that the rep gave me then betsy goes 'wait siby, what are yoo doin here? you dont even wanna go to wash u' i was like can ya be any louder?? right in front of the rep. wasnt good. see, im applyin to all these schools i dont wanna go to. they're all good schools but i just dont wanna go there. like im applyin to northwestern, university of chicago, and wash u to mention a few. i dont wanna go to northwestern or u of c bc i wanna get the hell outta chicago. (also i think the fact that u of c has the highest suicide rate in the country might have sumthin to do w/ it...) and i dont wanna go to wash u bc my sister's there. and see, im applyin to u of i but so many ppl from fenfen go there that i just want something different. and i sure as hell dont wanna go to uic bc its gonna result in me stayin at home instead of on campus. yeah, thad suck. i was told a lil while ago that i should get prepared for a huge mess. like my #1 is columbia. y? i dunno. i just feel it. and its not just bc its the best of all the schools im applyin to. bc im applyin to harvard too. my parents said that they get one college of their choice that i hafta apply to. and since wash u takes common app, its not too much harder to check off harvard too. but see, i dont even wanna go there. some ppl dont understand y i wanna go to columbia as opposed to harv bc they're both ivy league schools. but theres a diff. its sumthin ya feel in your gut. speakin of things ya feel in your gut, we was talkin on the canterbury tales tday in english. you've prolly heard bout em but seriously, its good stuff. some is a tad bit shady but nevertheless, good stuff. so we were goin over the wife of bath's tale tday. and then i sorta phased out but then when i came back dr b was readin all these quotes on love and talkin bout which ones he though were true and which ones werent as much. i found this really interesting and i started contributin a lotta my thoughts. then a couple ppl were like 'woah siby, are ya married or sumthin?' its just that ive put alotta thought into the whole shpiel of love b4. like for the longest time, ive been boggled bout what our emotions/feelings were really due to. i have yet to figure it all out, but im hopin i do sometime soon in the next few years. then maly was like 'oh yeah, did ya know siby has an arranged marriage?' then i was so hopin dr b wouldnt ask me to go into detail bout it in front of the class which he didnt which was good. but then i had to explain to a couple ppl how the whole thing worked. 'how do ya go through college knowin you're destined for somebody else?' 'ohhh siby, i hope you marry somebody you love' its not really that complicated...or so i think.
me: ya know, i was just thinking. what if you were crazy about this one girl and you'd been goin out for a couple months and then ya both got married. then after you got married shes like 'oh yeah, i have an STD.' what could be worse than that?
katie: well actually id be worse if she said she used to be a man...
in theology we were talkin bout zen and how its strange that to become a zen master you have to complete a series of mind puzzles but one of the main themes of zen is that you have to get rid of all preconceptions of everything and not use mental logic but rather gain understanding through insight. sounds interesting just that im not learnin anything bout it. i do realize that the book, or the class, is intended to show each religion but not enough to have a person possibly decide to be part of it. then ekpo was tellin us bout these koans, these logic puzzles that the trainees would hafta solve. was pretty funny.
'here is the meaning of the koan. the man was very selfish. he was running from the tigers and they would die if they did not eat him. then he grabbed the vine and tried to use the life of the vine to save his own. then he ate the strawberry and took its life.'
'thats bullshit, father'
'yes, i know it is bullshit'
yeah, i think imma go and watch some tv now, in other words a couple straight hrs of comedy central. god i love fridays.
song of the moment: roses from my friends
other quotes:
'why dont we just get like a 20 year old pope so then he can actually live for a long time?' -packey
'on monday, all you girls should get ready to get on your knees' -mrs v
'dont be mad at me because you're ugly, i didnt make you that way, god did.' -crank yankers
HAPPY BDAY JENNA!!!
tmrw i actually wanted to go to the amate house project thingy. ive never gone b4 and i was just curious as to what it was. but then i found out i couldnt bc im goin for this thing at uic tmrw mornin at 10! could they make it any earlier!? its like a talk bout the gppa program there. but it was one of those things that ya rsvp for so im thinkin its more important than the usual meetings. rule of thumb, if ya get a meetin and it doesnt say anything bout contactin them if ya wanna go, dont bother. its just a waste of your time. and also, i dont really understand what the point of all these college talks at school are about. yeah, i go for some of em, but mainly just to get outta class. seriously, i dont have any questions to ask em. and any questions i did have i could prolly find on their site. it was sorta funny bc i went to the wash u one just bc and i started fillin out a card that the rep gave me then betsy goes 'wait siby, what are yoo doin here? you dont even wanna go to wash u' i was like can ya be any louder?? right in front of the rep. wasnt good. see, im applyin to all these schools i dont wanna go to. they're all good schools but i just dont wanna go there. like im applyin to northwestern, university of chicago, and wash u to mention a few. i dont wanna go to northwestern or u of c bc i wanna get the hell outta chicago. (also i think the fact that u of c has the highest suicide rate in the country might have sumthin to do w/ it...) and i dont wanna go to wash u bc my sister's there. and see, im applyin to u of i but so many ppl from fenfen go there that i just want something different. and i sure as hell dont wanna go to uic bc its gonna result in me stayin at home instead of on campus. yeah, thad suck. i was told a lil while ago that i should get prepared for a huge mess. like my #1 is columbia. y? i dunno. i just feel it. and its not just bc its the best of all the schools im applyin to. bc im applyin to harvard too. my parents said that they get one college of their choice that i hafta apply to. and since wash u takes common app, its not too much harder to check off harvard too. but see, i dont even wanna go there. some ppl dont understand y i wanna go to columbia as opposed to harv bc they're both ivy league schools. but theres a diff. its sumthin ya feel in your gut. speakin of things ya feel in your gut, we was talkin on the canterbury tales tday in english. you've prolly heard bout em but seriously, its good stuff. some is a tad bit shady but nevertheless, good stuff. so we were goin over the wife of bath's tale tday. and then i sorta phased out but then when i came back dr b was readin all these quotes on love and talkin bout which ones he though were true and which ones werent as much. i found this really interesting and i started contributin a lotta my thoughts. then a couple ppl were like 'woah siby, are ya married or sumthin?' its just that ive put alotta thought into the whole shpiel of love b4. like for the longest time, ive been boggled bout what our emotions/feelings were really due to. i have yet to figure it all out, but im hopin i do sometime soon in the next few years. then maly was like 'oh yeah, did ya know siby has an arranged marriage?' then i was so hopin dr b wouldnt ask me to go into detail bout it in front of the class which he didnt which was good. but then i had to explain to a couple ppl how the whole thing worked. 'how do ya go through college knowin you're destined for somebody else?' 'ohhh siby, i hope you marry somebody you love' its not really that complicated...or so i think.
me: ya know, i was just thinking. what if you were crazy about this one girl and you'd been goin out for a couple months and then ya both got married. then after you got married shes like 'oh yeah, i have an STD.' what could be worse than that?
katie: well actually id be worse if she said she used to be a man...
in theology we were talkin bout zen and how its strange that to become a zen master you have to complete a series of mind puzzles but one of the main themes of zen is that you have to get rid of all preconceptions of everything and not use mental logic but rather gain understanding through insight. sounds interesting just that im not learnin anything bout it. i do realize that the book, or the class, is intended to show each religion but not enough to have a person possibly decide to be part of it. then ekpo was tellin us bout these koans, these logic puzzles that the trainees would hafta solve. was pretty funny.
'here is the meaning of the koan. the man was very selfish. he was running from the tigers and they would die if they did not eat him. then he grabbed the vine and tried to use the life of the vine to save his own. then he ate the strawberry and took its life.'
'thats bullshit, father'
'yes, i know it is bullshit'
yeah, i think imma go and watch some tv now, in other words a couple straight hrs of comedy central. god i love fridays.
song of the moment: roses from my friends
other quotes:
'why dont we just get like a 20 year old pope so then he can actually live for a long time?' -packey
'on monday, all you girls should get ready to get on your knees' -mrs v
'dont be mad at me because you're ugly, i didnt make you that way, god did.' -crank yankers
HAPPY BDAY JENNA!!!
14.10.03
'man sibs. it's been a week since your last post, what's going on??? i'm in denial. i need my sibyblog!'
i've actually been getting this a whole lot lately. see, i didnt think id ever post on this thing again. ever. see, dr b said we had to do journals for english. i regretted this bc i remember in jr high i loathed doing these stupid journals. but now, i love them. each one has to be only 10 minutes but for the last one i wrote for an hr straight. i sometimes write when i dont hafta also. and also in it, i can write about w/e. see, after more and more ppl started readin this blog of mine ive had to watch what i put on it. course ill always be completely open/honest on it but still, its like i can take it to the next level when i know only dr b's gonna read it. or maybe he doesnt even read em and just counts the pages and puts excellent at the very end. but like i read through some of my last couple posts i wrote when so many things were goin on and some of the stuff in em sorta freaked me out. like i saw a different side of myself. something deep down that id never seen b4. weird.
but anywho, last week, a couple ppl i had NO IDEA read this stuff told me they enjoyed reading my blog and i was totally blown away. whodathunk? but this weekend has been good. mhm. saturday morning i had to take the bloody sat 2's which i had been worryin bout for a helluva long time. but then i was just thinkin durin the drive there that it didnt really matter if i did well or not on em bc i just didnt care anymore. my mom had already signed me up to take the chem sat2 a second time b4 this and now im sorta bummed i gotta take it again. stats show scores go up majority of the time. no sweat. haha, it was amusin bc on the writing test, ya gotta write a 20 min essay. typically, ya do the essay, then for the last 40 mins ya do the multiple choice qs. i read the question for the essay and my mind just blanked. 'People often overestimate the importance of __________.' i opted to do the questions first then came back to the essay. i have to admit my mind was wanderin through the mc questions bc i just didnt care anymore. i was thinkin all sortsa stuff and it didnt help that hc was that night. but i was thinkin bout that essay q the whole time. and finally i knew zactly what id write about. people often overestimate the importance of college acceptance and college choice. i rationalized that since collegeboard wasnt affiliated w/ a specific college this essay would do. yeah, i just talked bout everything i talked bout in that 26.9.03 post, stephen spielberg effect and all. too funny, i even added that george carlin quote too. and just like in the post i ended w/ 'college is gonna rock. i just gotta buckle up and enjoy the ride.' amusin bc even though i didnt care bout what i got on the test i still followed through w/ all my lil rituals b4 these standardized tests. fill in all the o's on the front/back cover of the test book, and the 2 dunkin donuts, one b4 and one durin the break. call me superstitious but these are just standard. wow, it was great. while drivin to hinsdale central, (it was pretty early bc i had to get my donuts) there were barely any cars on the road but on the sidestreets there were leaves all over the road and when i zipped through them they started to swirl around in all these different colors. amazing. it was even better than what they show in those nissan commercials. then i thought it funny that i would find something so simple so breathtaking, just like in american beauty when the guy says he has his favorite video of all time and ur just sittin there wonderin what it is. then he puts the tape in and you start watchin and at first ya think its dumb but then it just sucks you in and you're completely mesmerized... mama nature, ur my girl.
so many q's. 'how was homecoming?' what am i supposed to say? i went w/ betsy[, surprisingly]. i had fun. i danced for bout 3 hrs straight w/ soul. BOB and hey ya were incredible. no, i wasnt able to go out to tess' but i heard it was awesome. rock on. (keep it on the dl but im seriously debatin on just goin out after an incredible prom regardless and comin back at only like 8 the next mornin(or maybe not even the next day...); we'll see what happens...)
on sunday, i was dead tired at church. we COULDA gone for the second service but noo, we had to go for the first one (which started at 7.30). i hadnt had dinner the night b4 just bc and i normally dont eat breakfast on sundays. i was pooped. i started fallin asleep so i let my mind wander to try to stay awake. marx once said 'religion is the opium of the masses.' we had learned w/ ekpo how psychologists had try to come up w/ a reason for y ppl feel the need to have a religion in their lives. they came up w/ a buncha boys who had killed their father because they had feared castration if they got w/ one of their dad's women. then they were scared that they had killed him and then ate him. then the boys needed to elevate their father to a higher status so gave him the title of 'god.' freud said that this is where christians came up w/ the idea of christians eating of a god’s body and blood. but then i started thinkin, what if all religions were the same thing? all religions (mostly at least) promote doing good to others in hopes of a better future/afterlife. who says one religion is any better than the other? the majority of religions believe that if a person is not of that specific religion they will go to hell or sumthin badll happen to em. how do we as christians know that who we're in contact w/ isnt really a god of another belief really? or does it even matter? we get the same thing outta it either way. or so i think...
on sunday, my cousin (2nd? 3rd?) came over for a sleepover. she's 5 yrs older than me and ive never really known her that well. she usually just kit w/ my sister. then i actually met her and we talked and talked and talked (or she did). but it was really enjoyable just talkin to somebody. i havent done it in a really long time. yes, the blog's been my means of sorting through stuff but just talkin to her was even better. its not often that yoo can find a person to just speak your mind do and know that they're actually listening to ya. like really listening to ya. a person who actually listens 'instead of just waiting for their chance to speak.' monday morning she came and woke me up at like 9. i was hopin to sleep in till around 11 but she insisted that i get up and go for a walk w/ her. then for how long was it? an hr? 2 hrs? we just went walkin outside amongst all the fall colors and talked. maybe this is something new for me that yall have known all along. im at the school library right now and they're gonna kick me off in 2 mins bc of who knows what reason. well, maybe its a good time to stop, i have been ramblin for a while now...
qot[other]day: 'you're in MY reality now...'
just from tday: 'his names gotta be tooty-fruity bc hes fruity. tutes just doest have that.'
'well, neither does tom'
HAPPY BDAY JEWELL! (hope ya stop livin in the past and all hahahahaha)
yeah maciej, tmrws the day. we are gonna pull off 'take on me.' get psyched.
i've actually been getting this a whole lot lately. see, i didnt think id ever post on this thing again. ever. see, dr b said we had to do journals for english. i regretted this bc i remember in jr high i loathed doing these stupid journals. but now, i love them. each one has to be only 10 minutes but for the last one i wrote for an hr straight. i sometimes write when i dont hafta also. and also in it, i can write about w/e. see, after more and more ppl started readin this blog of mine ive had to watch what i put on it. course ill always be completely open/honest on it but still, its like i can take it to the next level when i know only dr b's gonna read it. or maybe he doesnt even read em and just counts the pages and puts excellent at the very end. but like i read through some of my last couple posts i wrote when so many things were goin on and some of the stuff in em sorta freaked me out. like i saw a different side of myself. something deep down that id never seen b4. weird.
but anywho, last week, a couple ppl i had NO IDEA read this stuff told me they enjoyed reading my blog and i was totally blown away. whodathunk? but this weekend has been good. mhm. saturday morning i had to take the bloody sat 2's which i had been worryin bout for a helluva long time. but then i was just thinkin durin the drive there that it didnt really matter if i did well or not on em bc i just didnt care anymore. my mom had already signed me up to take the chem sat2 a second time b4 this and now im sorta bummed i gotta take it again. stats show scores go up majority of the time. no sweat. haha, it was amusin bc on the writing test, ya gotta write a 20 min essay. typically, ya do the essay, then for the last 40 mins ya do the multiple choice qs. i read the question for the essay and my mind just blanked. 'People often overestimate the importance of __________.' i opted to do the questions first then came back to the essay. i have to admit my mind was wanderin through the mc questions bc i just didnt care anymore. i was thinkin all sortsa stuff and it didnt help that hc was that night. but i was thinkin bout that essay q the whole time. and finally i knew zactly what id write about. people often overestimate the importance of college acceptance and college choice. i rationalized that since collegeboard wasnt affiliated w/ a specific college this essay would do. yeah, i just talked bout everything i talked bout in that 26.9.03 post, stephen spielberg effect and all. too funny, i even added that george carlin quote too. and just like in the post i ended w/ 'college is gonna rock. i just gotta buckle up and enjoy the ride.' amusin bc even though i didnt care bout what i got on the test i still followed through w/ all my lil rituals b4 these standardized tests. fill in all the o's on the front/back cover of the test book, and the 2 dunkin donuts, one b4 and one durin the break. call me superstitious but these are just standard. wow, it was great. while drivin to hinsdale central, (it was pretty early bc i had to get my donuts) there were barely any cars on the road but on the sidestreets there were leaves all over the road and when i zipped through them they started to swirl around in all these different colors. amazing. it was even better than what they show in those nissan commercials. then i thought it funny that i would find something so simple so breathtaking, just like in american beauty when the guy says he has his favorite video of all time and ur just sittin there wonderin what it is. then he puts the tape in and you start watchin and at first ya think its dumb but then it just sucks you in and you're completely mesmerized... mama nature, ur my girl.
so many q's. 'how was homecoming?' what am i supposed to say? i went w/ betsy[, surprisingly]. i had fun. i danced for bout 3 hrs straight w/ soul. BOB and hey ya were incredible. no, i wasnt able to go out to tess' but i heard it was awesome. rock on. (keep it on the dl but im seriously debatin on just goin out after an incredible prom regardless and comin back at only like 8 the next mornin(or maybe not even the next day...); we'll see what happens...)
on sunday, i was dead tired at church. we COULDA gone for the second service but noo, we had to go for the first one (which started at 7.30). i hadnt had dinner the night b4 just bc and i normally dont eat breakfast on sundays. i was pooped. i started fallin asleep so i let my mind wander to try to stay awake. marx once said 'religion is the opium of the masses.' we had learned w/ ekpo how psychologists had try to come up w/ a reason for y ppl feel the need to have a religion in their lives. they came up w/ a buncha boys who had killed their father because they had feared castration if they got w/ one of their dad's women. then they were scared that they had killed him and then ate him. then the boys needed to elevate their father to a higher status so gave him the title of 'god.' freud said that this is where christians came up w/ the idea of christians eating of a god’s body and blood. but then i started thinkin, what if all religions were the same thing? all religions (mostly at least) promote doing good to others in hopes of a better future/afterlife. who says one religion is any better than the other? the majority of religions believe that if a person is not of that specific religion they will go to hell or sumthin badll happen to em. how do we as christians know that who we're in contact w/ isnt really a god of another belief really? or does it even matter? we get the same thing outta it either way. or so i think...
on sunday, my cousin (2nd? 3rd?) came over for a sleepover. she's 5 yrs older than me and ive never really known her that well. she usually just kit w/ my sister. then i actually met her and we talked and talked and talked (or she did). but it was really enjoyable just talkin to somebody. i havent done it in a really long time. yes, the blog's been my means of sorting through stuff but just talkin to her was even better. its not often that yoo can find a person to just speak your mind do and know that they're actually listening to ya. like really listening to ya. a person who actually listens 'instead of just waiting for their chance to speak.' monday morning she came and woke me up at like 9. i was hopin to sleep in till around 11 but she insisted that i get up and go for a walk w/ her. then for how long was it? an hr? 2 hrs? we just went walkin outside amongst all the fall colors and talked. maybe this is something new for me that yall have known all along. im at the school library right now and they're gonna kick me off in 2 mins bc of who knows what reason. well, maybe its a good time to stop, i have been ramblin for a while now...
qot[other]day: 'you're in MY reality now...'
just from tday: 'his names gotta be tooty-fruity bc hes fruity. tutes just doest have that.'
'well, neither does tom'
HAPPY BDAY JEWELL! (hope ya stop livin in the past and all hahahahaha)
yeah maciej, tmrws the day. we are gonna pull off 'take on me.' get psyched.
5.10.03
finally got my digital cam pics workin. this one's from the oakpark/fenfen soccer game (we trounced em). good times. gonna post the links to more pics on the right sometime soon...
maciej's a damn pimp...
'id put money that this pic'll be on the blog in 24 hrs'
a tad bit more than 24 hrs bianca, but better late than never.
qot[other]day: 'you can just go around taking pictures of all the ppl who are glug-glugging'
maciej's a damn pimp...
'id put money that this pic'll be on the blog in 24 hrs'
a tad bit more than 24 hrs bianca, but better late than never.
qot[other]day: 'you can just go around taking pictures of all the ppl who are glug-glugging'
1.10.03
oook then. what to talk about. first i was thinkin the other day of all the ppl i used to know really well but doubt ill ever see again in life. quite a morbid topic but it helped keep me from fallin asleep in physics. im not too close any more w/ alotta the ppl i knew in grade school. yeah, i know some of em still but for the most part its been a while since ive talked to the majority of them. for most of yall, most of the ppl from your gradeschool are at your current highschool. how convenient. then, this forum i went to my soph yr summer. it was a national youth leadership forum. how i was invited to this i dont know. but its this forum that happens twice over the summer at multiple locations. i wanted to go to some other big city but my parents made me go to the one here in chicago at uic. you have the option of goin for either medicine, business, or law. obviously, being the typical indian, i did medicine. for 10 days you stayed on the uic campus and just learned what it was to be a doctor basically and what it took to get there. the 300 of us were split up into 10 different groups of 30 each. there were 2 dances there, one causal on campus, and one real formal one at a hotel. and also, on the last 2 days, saturday and sunday, it was all laid back. on saturday we just roamed around navy pier and on sunday we roamed around on michigan ave. i got to know my group realllly well. the guys rooms were on the ground floor and there were girls rooms above. the rule was that if guys were even seen on the upper floor theyd be sent home. hehe, on the last night, b4 we went home, the guys from my cluster and another cluster down the hall all decided to go up. hell, it was the last night, not much they could do to us. after room checks at 11 we were gonna go out one by one upstairs. i was one of the first guys to go up, so at around 12.30 i crept out into the hall and was goin in the direction of the staircase when i see this blonde walkin towards me. i wondered what she was doin on our floor this late and i start out w/ a 'hey' like 'how you doin?' but then as she comes closer i see the blue badge and my hey turns into a 'heeeeeey' w/ me realizin shes a counselor. 'one of them'. my mind was racin to come up w/ an excuse. i was gonna say 'i got hungry,' but they had stated firmly that we werent permitted to go to the cafe afterhours. i could say i was goin to the bathroom but we had bathrooms in our suites. i didnt know what to say, so im just say, 'wow.' she gives me one of those looks and tells me to get back to bed. then after i came back to my suite, my cluster and another cluster kept watch at the peepholes and informed each other where the leader was at any given time via cell phones. it all worked out and we all went to the girls suites and stayed there till 5 in the morning. greeeat times. at the end ppl were all cryin and sayin that we would meet again next summer and do sumthing or other. in the back of my mind i knew this wouldnt happen. we all live in different parts of the country, what are the odds? at present, im still tryna meet up w/ this one girl from indiana, kris. we were gonna meet up over the summer but it just didnt work out bc she had summer school too but unlike me, it was affiliated w/ her school and she couldnt just skip class any time she pleased like i could. im hopin to work something out w/ her this yr.
then there's this guy named dan. i met him at the hospital. see, my soph yr summer i did absolutely nothing. my parents didnt want me sittin home idle so they sent me to work at the hospital just about every day. back then, i was a lil more innocent and never tried to sneak out or anything. but usually i just worked in the units w/ the nurses. at the beginning when i was workin there i always worked in the same unit w/ the same nurses. though i was young, i was still a rebel at the time and never wore my id badge. my thinkin was that if i wore my id theyd always just look at the badge instead of tryna remember my name. by not wearin it they'd prolly member my name. but they didnt. they all just resorted to callin me 'cutie.' they were great. when they honestly didnt have anything for me to do, theyd tell me that and we'd just sit and talk about w/e. then the administration got crappy at the hospital so a buncha the nurses just up and left and now they usually always got one or two new ones who have no idea who i am. yeah, i miss those nurses. but back to dan. he was like a big brother to me. he was workin in administration at the time and i did a lot of stuff for him in many different parts of the hospital and i got to meet so many people. it seemed like every single person there knew who dan was. we talked about just about everything together. usually it was me tellin him what was goin on and him givin me advice about the world, women, life sarahsarahsarah. but then i went on a vacation somplace and didnt go for 2 weeks and when i came back he was gone. hed been sayin sumthin bout goin to virginia to run something but that was that. oh well.
as an aside, at the hospital tday, this guy nurse came in and was talkin bout his wife's newborn baby girl. then all the other nurses were tellin him to bring in pics and all next time he came. then he pulls out his palm pilot and says hes got some already of right when she was born. all the ladies start ooin and ahhin and one nurse is like 'haha, she must look like your wife because she certaintly dont look anything like you.' then he said sumthin but i didnt catch it but it sounded like he said 'looks like our mailman'. i found this extremely amusin and the image from 'me, myself, and irene' came to mind of the 3 black kids playin in the kiddie pool and the one guy goes to jim carrey, 'oh, your kids look pretty dark this summer' or sumthin like that. i burst out laughin then everybody stopped talkin and looked over at me, each one w/ the same look. 'wtf?' yeah, it was my embarrasing moment of the day but quite humorous all the same.
marco. yeah, marco's a verrry strange kid. for the past 3 yrs ive only heard horror stories and the like of him. but this year he sits at my lunch table (which we're presently tryna change) and hes in 2 of my classes. yes, hes as bad as ive heard. and just about as strange. the other day dr b just didnt feel like teachin so he had us write a jounal entry bout 'a mark on the wall.' he gave us 10 mins to write about it then time to read em aloud but i didnt bc my journal entry went on for about a half hour. but i was just listenin to ppl read theirs in the background. then marco wants to read his. it went sumthin like this: 'theres a mark on the wall in front of me. why is it there? maybe its a nail to hang something on. if you were hanging on the wall id take you down. if i was hanging on the wall would you take me down? if you did take me down from the wall id be your best friend. id give ya an ice cream cone too. but if you didnt i wouldnt be your friend. and you could also forget about that ice cream cone.' tres strange. (betsy, ya gotta gimme one of those marco pins...)
yeah, so im hopin to go out on saturday w/ whomever wants to come...
qot[other]d: 'they bite the human people like chicken! it was funny but scary but good.' -ekpo speakin on 'from dusk till dawn'
then there's this guy named dan. i met him at the hospital. see, my soph yr summer i did absolutely nothing. my parents didnt want me sittin home idle so they sent me to work at the hospital just about every day. back then, i was a lil more innocent and never tried to sneak out or anything. but usually i just worked in the units w/ the nurses. at the beginning when i was workin there i always worked in the same unit w/ the same nurses. though i was young, i was still a rebel at the time and never wore my id badge. my thinkin was that if i wore my id theyd always just look at the badge instead of tryna remember my name. by not wearin it they'd prolly member my name. but they didnt. they all just resorted to callin me 'cutie.' they were great. when they honestly didnt have anything for me to do, theyd tell me that and we'd just sit and talk about w/e. then the administration got crappy at the hospital so a buncha the nurses just up and left and now they usually always got one or two new ones who have no idea who i am. yeah, i miss those nurses. but back to dan. he was like a big brother to me. he was workin in administration at the time and i did a lot of stuff for him in many different parts of the hospital and i got to meet so many people. it seemed like every single person there knew who dan was. we talked about just about everything together. usually it was me tellin him what was goin on and him givin me advice about the world, women, life sarahsarahsarah. but then i went on a vacation somplace and didnt go for 2 weeks and when i came back he was gone. hed been sayin sumthin bout goin to virginia to run something but that was that. oh well.
as an aside, at the hospital tday, this guy nurse came in and was talkin bout his wife's newborn baby girl. then all the other nurses were tellin him to bring in pics and all next time he came. then he pulls out his palm pilot and says hes got some already of right when she was born. all the ladies start ooin and ahhin and one nurse is like 'haha, she must look like your wife because she certaintly dont look anything like you.' then he said sumthin but i didnt catch it but it sounded like he said 'looks like our mailman'. i found this extremely amusin and the image from 'me, myself, and irene' came to mind of the 3 black kids playin in the kiddie pool and the one guy goes to jim carrey, 'oh, your kids look pretty dark this summer' or sumthin like that. i burst out laughin then everybody stopped talkin and looked over at me, each one w/ the same look. 'wtf?' yeah, it was my embarrasing moment of the day but quite humorous all the same.
marco. yeah, marco's a verrry strange kid. for the past 3 yrs ive only heard horror stories and the like of him. but this year he sits at my lunch table (which we're presently tryna change) and hes in 2 of my classes. yes, hes as bad as ive heard. and just about as strange. the other day dr b just didnt feel like teachin so he had us write a jounal entry bout 'a mark on the wall.' he gave us 10 mins to write about it then time to read em aloud but i didnt bc my journal entry went on for about a half hour. but i was just listenin to ppl read theirs in the background. then marco wants to read his. it went sumthin like this: 'theres a mark on the wall in front of me. why is it there? maybe its a nail to hang something on. if you were hanging on the wall id take you down. if i was hanging on the wall would you take me down? if you did take me down from the wall id be your best friend. id give ya an ice cream cone too. but if you didnt i wouldnt be your friend. and you could also forget about that ice cream cone.' tres strange. (betsy, ya gotta gimme one of those marco pins...)
yeah, so im hopin to go out on saturday w/ whomever wants to come...
qot[other]d: 'they bite the human people like chicken! it was funny but scary but good.' -ekpo speakin on 'from dusk till dawn'
